Rebecca Tillett: Blog

…on the way to a dream

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 23:33:24 GMT

(30 is shaping up to be an interesting year.)

As many of you know, back in November I took a chance and left my job of 6+ years as a graphic designer for the Colorado Springs Independent to work for a small graphic design studio in town. Some perpetual hardships in the Art Department in addition to the fact that I’d been feeling a bit burned out on design for quite some time were two major reasons motivating me to leave. Truthfully, I’d been looking for a new job for at least a few months beforehand because ultimately I realized I’d become far too comfortable in the position and found myself stewing in all the little negatives that tend to exist within so many companies. So I was very fortunate when a previous coworker (and friend) whom I’d worked alongside for more than 5 years at the Indy offered me a job working with her and the super-sweet owner of the studio. Needless to say I accepted in a heartbeat. (The hardest part of the transition was that I’d be leaving my most favorite boss-and one of my best friends-in the world.)

It wasn’t long at all in my new position (a couple weeks?) before I realized a change of scenery wasn’t all I required and I accepted the fact that I was no longer truly enjoying design like I used to. And somewhere along the line my dream job being a graphic designer had become a 9-5 drag that was slowly sucking every ounce of creativity from my body leaving nothing left and therefore little desire to pursue my side-passion: photography (In fact, in the few months prior to leaving the Indy that I was looking for a new job, I was spending more time looking for work OUTSIDE the industry than within it. But this job being offered to me was too good to pass up and I truly couldn’t turn it down.)

Fast forward to last week when I stumbled upon the epiphany that it was time to take my second chance in less than two months and I very apprehensively but resolutely gave my notice to the owner that I needed to leave and would finish out the month (hoping that in that time, they can find a suitable replacement for me.) So with the support and encouragement of both my husband and a few great friends I’m embarking into the great unknown. I’ve decided the time feels right to stop shoving photography to the back burner and to start prioritizing it – even possibly making a modest living at it. I’ve been shooting since I was just 16 years old and I’ve never stopped loving it. And somehow in spite of myself, within the last ten years I’ve found moderate success in the fine art photography world. I’ve been published in beautiful volumes alongside so many amazing photographers on many occasions (I’ve been invited back to the New Erotic Photography Volume 4 due out Spring of this year!), I’ve been featured on numerous websites and I’ve been invited to participate in quite a few collaborative shows in addition to more than a couple one-woman shows both here in Colorado and one in Rome in 2010. All of that without devoting nearly as much time to it as I would have always liked.

I’m a little nervous, a little scared but mostly just really EXCITED. I feel extremely grateful for this chance and for the amazing people in my life who are standing behind me in this new adventure. I already have a few customers wanting to book shoots and my boss has very graciously agreed to continue utilizing me for any photography her clients may need. I also plan to continue doing some freelance design on the side because as I’ve been told “Gotta keep that design muscle in shape!” I think some time out of the 9-5 grind will do me some good and I look forward to loving being creative again.

A few days ago I saw a piece of typography online that said “Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.” How appropriate.

(Please send me whatever good luck, thoughts and vibes you can spare. I can use every drop of it.)

She’s Having a Baby

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 01:06:47 GMT

I shot my beautiful friend Britt and her husband today. It was actually the first time I really got to stretch the legs of my new Canon 5D Mark III since my husband got it for me for my birthday a full month ago. Needless to say, life has been a little crazy these days. Me and so many around me are stepping into new chapters and I suppose that’s necessary and that’s life. The only thing constant is change, after all. Nothing ever stays the same which I’ve always found bittersweet.

I wish Britt and Brennen all the luck in the world in their new adventures in Seattle. I sure as hell am gonna miss them.
And as a sidenote: This camera is damn amazing. I hope I’m badass enough to handle it…

(ps. Profusely apologize for the duration of time between this post and my last. How completely unacceptable of me!)

The Great Pacific Northwest

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 21:02:38 GMT

Last month my husband and I took what I’m now dubbing the “Great Pacific Northwest Roadtrip” and had an amazing time. I’ve been trying to eloquently construct this blog post in my head since my return but there are really no words for the way this part of the country made me feel. There’s something mysterious and magnificent about the forests up there and I had a feeling of bittersweet sadness but a strong yearning despite it that I couldn’t shake. The ocean was beautiful, of course, but it always leaves me feeling a little cold and extremely lonely and I’ve never craved to be near it as so many others do. The desert is my home and where I’m most comfortable; warm wide open spaces and a clear 360 degree view of the landscape and the horizon and so I confess that being shrouded by so many gargantuan trees left me a little claustrophobic but the entire time it was something I was absolutely certain I could shake or learn to live with it if the opportunity to live up there ever presented itself. I could even become friendly with the ocean. My mom grew up with the ocean and she’s always longed to return. Sometimes I think some of those feelings should be hereditary..simply because the desire and passion for these beautiful pieces of our home, planet earth, are so strong and ingrained within us.

I wish there was a way to correctly translate to words what I saw and felt in this short 10 days but I can’t. All I can say is “GO.”

(The images above we’re taken at the Ladybird Johnson Grove at Redwood National Park.)

Shanna & Shiloh

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 14:12:17 GMT

Last Wednesday I had a shoot with my friend and tattoo artist, Shanna Keyes.It’s something we’ve been talking about for a while since our last shoot was 2 or 3 years ago or so now. But it always seemed like our schedules wouldn’t mesh or she just wanted to finish getting tattooed a bit more. Her ultimate goal is to be fully covered and she’s heading towards it quickly!

The little shoot was fun and took place at her apartment where her new kitty cat Shiloh kept getting cameos. I’m a HUGE cat person so put a cat and a pretty tattooed girl in front of my lens and it’s like I’ve won the lottery. :) See more of my favorites from this shoot at my Flickr!

Lastly, if you’re in Colorado Springs and want a tattoo, see Shanna at Pens and Needles!

Omaha, NE

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:08:55 GMT

Earlier this week, I traveled to Omaha to watch my youngest cousin, Rachel compete in the Olympic Swimming Trials. I was planning to be there about 3 days or so to watch her swim and then spend a little time with my family as well as a friend who would coincidentally be there at the very same time for work. Unfortunately, the Waldo Canyon Fire here in Colorado Springs cut my trip short and I got an earlier flight home in case my neighborhood (which was only mere miles from the fire) was to be evacuated. Fortunately, that didn’t happen but I’m completely bummed my time with friends and family was cut short. It’s not often we all get to see each other. Rachel didn’t qualify in her race on Tuesday but she has another shot on Sunday so please help me in sending positive thoughts her way!

Go Rach!

(and hey, at least now I can say I’ve been to Nebraska…oh, AND Iowa!)

oh!pic

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 19:36:11 GMT

My good friend Britt and I have combined for the perfect side biz! She offers hair and makeup and I, of course, my photography. What you see above is an example of our work. We’re completely thrilled and I imagine this will only lead to bigger and better things! So please keep us in mind should you find yourself in the Colorado Springs area and need amazing portraits done. Click HERE to view and LIKE our Facebook page! We appreciate any and all support. :)

Also – GIANT thank you to my friend Claire and Edie for modeling for the above photographs. I’m a lucky girl to have such gorgeous women in my life.

Something

Tue, 22 May 2012 23:26:49 GMT

Too often anymore I feel like I’m not partaking in the little things that make life….worth it. That sounds odd and vague and I wish I could further elaborate but I can’t really.

This morning was the first of the last 4 that I woke up withOUT a throbbing headache. Saturday-Monday morning I woke up around 5am all three days stumbling through the house looking for pain reliever because my head was hurting so bad and I just wanted to go back to sleep. Anymore, I feel like my primary objective in life is simply to avoid the inevitable pain at all costs. That’s a basic summary of my life these days…inevitable pain.

I think I’m stewing in negativity these days. I’m floundering. I’m aimless. I’m restless. I’m so damn still. I’m hopeless.
I’m just looking for something.

I think I’m enjoying shooting these organic images much more than people are enjoying looking at them (“Where the hell are the naked women?!”) but I’m reveling in the serenity they bring.

Side note: Thanks to those recent fans of my work who have signed up to my mailing list regarding my EDIT project. I promise it’s coming soon and to all those who signed up in the beginning I can’t thank you enough for your patience. I’ll be sending out an email as the launch nears!

Rag Doll

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 13:42:09 GMT

It’s always both exciting and nerve-wracking when shooting a brand-new model. Exciting because it’s new and fresh and inspiring. Nerve-wracking because expectations are all over the place. Not only is Edie a new model to me, but she’s also a new model having never really modeled before. Edie Adelstein is the Arts Editor (and quite an amazing writer) at the alt-weekly I currently work for as a graphic designer and it only just recently came to my attention (despite us having worked together for several years now) that she was interested in modeling for me. And boy am I grateful that it did. Not only is she beautiful but she’s a rare natural and seems completely at ease in front of the camera. I absolutely can’t wait to shoot more of her in the future! See my Flickr for many many more from this awesome shoot. (I had trouble selecting just one image for this blog post.)

Right where I belong

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 17:07:06 GMT

Low self-esteem and I are old pals. We go way back to my early teenage years. Before that, I firmly believe I was a cute little girl. Something either changed in my mind or in my physical appearance a mere few years later, I’m still unsure which. As I got a little older, I stopped minding the reflection in the mirror so much, even being satisfied with it some days. But each time I saw myself in a photo someone else unwittingly snapped, I would again be thrown into the depths of (superficial) despair. “Do I really look like that?? Why isn’t that what I see in the mirror?? How can people stand to look at me!” etc. etc. over and over in my mind. This still occurs to this day. I’ve become so afraid and guarded that I rarely allow anyone else to take pictures of me. When I get in front of my own camera, I’m fully aware of what angles and views are off limits. I also ALWAYS make stupid faces because, for some reason, I can look at those without wanting to gag. I’m under the assumption that I’m less ugly when I make stupid faces. Whether this is true or not, I’m unsure. I’m also still unsure if I’m delusional when I look in the mirror and sometimes like what I see or if I’m just completely and unfortunately totally unphotogenic. I’d of course hope for the latter over the former. Either way, as most women do, there are a million things I wish I could change about myself but can’t…especially as I get older.

The picture above is a self-portrait shot yesterday in my backyard. It was one of about 15 or so. This was the only one I deemed acceptable. The rest will be garbage. This is a rare photo of me at a straight-on angle NOT making a stupid face, not even smiling. I think I look old and tired but I can look at it and not look away and that’s a good thing.

I suppose I’m extremely lucky to have such beautiful women in my life to photograph. That way I can continue what I do best: staying behind the camera, right where I belong.

Images thru the iPhone

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 19:40:09 GMT

I was recently invited into an art show this April by Chas Ray Krider at his Gallery – The invisible Gallery in Columbus, Ohio and in addition to us, Steve Diet Goedde, Aaron Hawks, and Collin J Rae will be exhibiting as well. All these men are powerhouses in the nude/erotic photography realm. I’ve looked up to them for years and am so very flattered to be participating in a show with them. The show is called Images thru the iPhone and is only to include pictures that have been either shot or edited (or both!) with an iPhone app. Most of the images I’ll be exhibiting were shot with my DSLR (with the exception of a few self-portraits shot with my phone) but then edited strictly with my iPhone. A few of them are even popular photographs of mine…I found the idea of digging out the original raw files and re-editing them with an app (to look far different than my original edits done in Photoshop) to be an intriguing one. I’m still getting used to seeing a few of my most popular photographs in a different light.

Anyway, Mr. Krider suggested each participant design our own flyer if we wanted to. What you see above, is mine! I gave it a bit of a girly feel being the only female photographer participating. ;) The model in the image is my cousin Cassie, rockin’ it like always.